She's finding her beauty. She's finding her grace. She's finding her whole heart. She's showing her face in the light...Standing on the other side of forgiveness. You are different now; I can see it. Standing on the other side of all my angry walls; I don't judge you at all.
-Laura Woodley Osman
The words above are my heart. It describes right where I am and where I believe I am headed. This week, I was struck down by the flu. This is a virus that I don't wish on anyone. It knocks you out and your only friend is the bed. During this time, my only option was to rest, drink loads of water, and wait for the healing. Today was the first day this week that I've woken up and felt truly like a new person. Granted, there are still parts of me that are fatigued, but it was truly as if today was a NEW day! One of the first things that I realized as I felt this refreshment in my soul was that each day is a gift.
There have been various shifts that have occurred in my life over the past couple of months. Each one was unexpected and tried to keep me from proclaiming the goodness of God. And for a bit, I'm sure my faith was set back, but praise be to God who always has the last word. He has my heart and is therefore the warrior of it! Walking this life as a single woman in her thirties isn't always easy. Where is my place, since I am one of the few in this stage of life who isn't married and doesn't own a home or have children? Where do I fit?
And then I hear the Lord say: You fit right here with me. Your home is right here with me. You aren't forgotten. You are seen and used more than you know. You are called to a life that shines! You fit right here with me. Isn't Jesus amazing? I can't say that I always understand or like what the Lord does or is doing, but I am learning more and more that He can always be trusted. Through this season, I believe with all of my heart that He is "setting me up to receive." But in order to receive, I have to trust him with all areas of my heart.
And so, I take a step forward and say--ok, I trust you, Father. I trust you because you are the one who sees the bigger picture. You are the One who has had my heart from the beginning and you've never left me--not even for a moment. And in everything, you've been teaching me and growing me in your love. You've been teaching me to open up before others--letting them see what you've seen all along and have called lovely. You are my everything and I love you! You are faithful to the end. You are faithful when all of my faith has left me. You remain and my heart remains forever yours.
Taking steps of faith forward are often difficult and challenging, but taking them with Jesus is always good. Life with him is continually good!! So, take your step forward. Drink the cup of refreshment who is the Holy Spirit. Rest in the arms of the Father. And let the Healer, Jesus, do just that--heal you.
Until next week...Hellen
