Tides

Have you ever stood at the edge of the ocean's shore and allowed the tips of your toes to touch the sea? As the tide begins to move in, the water continues to cover up more of your feet. If you stand there long enough, you'll be ankle deep, waist deep, and then completely consumed. As a gal who grew up with a little bit of salt behind her ears, one of my favorite ways for my soul to be "quieted" and to reflect is to stand on the ocean's edge. There is peace there. The tide goes in and out. The water--in and out. Like my heartbeat, the rhythms of the waves are steady.

Now, the events in my life aren't always steady. They are rarely predictable. But with each event and season that comes, my heart has disciplined itself to become steady. Because, my heart is steady in the goodness and nature of the One who resides there: Jesus.

But it's not always easy--especially when the world's chaos ensues. And the lies of the enemy try to crash into my mind. But like the steadiness of the tide, the truth remains constant.

A word of wisdom was spoken to me a few years ago and it wasn't until recently that it's begun to spring up in my heart. The revelation has come! He said this: When pain and difficulty occurs, it is important to talk about the challenge. It is vital to let out all the poison. But then there is a time for "letting it go." True healing has occurred when you no longer need to speak about the pain. Or, if you do speak of it there is only LIGHT. There is only LOVE. There isn't pain. There is complete forgiveness.

The story isn't who we are. The pain isn't who we are. Who we are is this: Beautiful. A beautiful daughter/son of God.

So, as I reflect on the tide that conveys the "comings and goings," I've realized that like the tide, I am called be steady. Steady in my heart. Steady in my faith. Steady in forgiveness. Steady in the knowledge of who I am in Jesus.

Steady. Secure. Certain.

Especially in the uncertainty.

A Pile of Love

I think that the most difficult thing is allowing yourself to be loved, so receiving the love 

and feeling like you deserve it is a pretty big struggle. I suppose that's what I've learned 

recently, to allow myself to be loved. -Nicole Kidman

I recently read this quote and it resonated with my heart deeply. For months, I've been 

avoiding writing on this blog. I wanted to put it on the shelf and to quit writing completely. 

But there is this other part of me that has a voice and knows that I have a message to tell. I 

have a message to tell because I've lived it and am continuing to live it. I am a single 30-

something. I, like you, am a story. My life is a story. Each moment. Each season. Like the 

leaves that we rake and bag up in the fall (or jump in, in my case), so are the seasons that we

walk and live through. The friendships, relationships, moments filled with joy, moments 

filled with pain--each second rolls up into a brilliant display of colors. All are different, but 

together--they are stunning. That's how I've recently seen life. And family.

There are "leaves" that we'd like to take and disregard, but if we do, then our splendid pile of

experiences would be null and void. It wouldn't look the same. 

I recently walked through a season of lack and of a broken heart. My heart had grieved for

months and it wasn't until recently that I have begun to "see the light." Though it was a 

season filled with difficulty, I wouldn't have changed it for anything. It made me see who I 

am and the good qualities that I have (and had somehow forgotten). It made me take a step 

back and ponder what I truly wanted in this next chapter of my life. In my professional life. 

In my personal life. In my spiritual life. All of it. 

And so--I've been assessing myself. And I've come to this conclusion:

I had put myself on the back burner for the sake of others. Now, this is a good thing (to a 

point), but there comes a time where it's vital for every individual to truly decide what they

want (and to not feel guilty in the process). Because, this actually benefits all of those around

them in the most positive light. The trouble is, I always have had a difficulty receiving love 

not from God, but in my profession and from a man. 

So, in all this assessing, I choose to be open. I choose to be intentional. And I choose to 

believe and know that I can allow myself to be loved. I choose to be vulnerable once more

and to trust.

I choose to JUMP IN the pile. 

The good. The bad. The ugly. 

The delightful moments. The painful ones. 

I choose to JUMP! 

Cheering you on as you do the same!