Learning to Love: Communication

When you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you!

-Billie Holiday

Smiles are contagious. They're infectious. When someone smiles at me, my face lights up and I can't help but spread the joy to others. It's a wonderful way to communicate without words. 

Unfortunately, I oftentimes see more than my fare share of people with a scowl on their face. Frowns reflect a negative emotion and joyous people tend to flee from it. But it communicates just the same. 

Encouragement is another form of communication--building courage.

Discouragement takes away courage. 

Communication can be done through words, actions, or both. You can try to avoid it, but you won't succeed. Because regardless, you are communicating something.

One unhealthy habit that I've come across first-hand from guys who are boys (yet to become men) is that when conflict arises with someone of the opposite sex and the rubber hits the road, they have the tendency to write off the relationship without a word. They stop answering texts, phone calls, and any form of communication. They become paralyzed to expressing what is going on. Because of fear or insecurity, they fail to tackle the situation at hand.

And what happens is this:

They think they are doing women a favor by communicating their lack of interest or concern. They think they are being fair and just by being silent. But instead of coming across as "fair," women understand this communication as this:

Not being worth it. Unwanted. Uncaring.

And unfortunately, many women take this on as their identity or, at the very least--put up their guard until they have a precipice of a wall around themselves. They refuse to become too vulnerable (even in dating relationships and marriages).

All because they believed the lies--a lie that was planted from the action of a boy. A boy that took the way of a coward instead of a man. Men aren't afraid to face the circumstance at hand. They actually embrace them. 

People are more important than our comfort. They are worth it--every single one--even if it's to say goodbye and release them from the relationship. 

Please communicate--with words. It will help clear things up. It will probably be awkward and difficult. It may mean letting go. It may mean staying. Regardless--communicate.

Our society is crying out for it.

Let all that you do be done in love.