12 Years = Complete

The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be. 

-Oprah Winfrey

Each day I find that I'm given an opportunity. An opportunity of how I'll respond, what my attitude will be, and so on. I can choose to make a negative or positive impact. If you're anything like me, there are days where you wake up "off" and the smallest detail can send you into a place of frustration. But frustration is just a sign of discontentment. It's really a sign of the heart. And there is a scheme to try and change our focus from the blessings to what we think we don't have. Trust me. I've been here. And sometimes frustration can be built up over time and cause an awareness. It can bless us with the opportunity to step back and take a look--a look at the situation, the people surrounding us, the blessings we have, etc. But the turning point is what we do with it: Will we refuse to be discontent a second longer or will we wallow--remaining in the place of discontentment? The choice is ours.

Today, I regret to inform you, I wallowed. I refused for a bit, but then I wallowed. Yep--like a little school girl. But thank heavens for grace, because my eyes are opened just in writing this. Those frustrations, those difficulties, those things I thought were meant to drag me completely down didn't. 

And then a personal promise came to me: Your 12 years are complete.

Now, I know that this means nothing to you. But it immediately spoke to my current situation. The key is this: This thought/word came to me when I took a moment to rest somewhere other than in my discontentment. As Oprah says in the quotation above, "to be alive is to evolve." It's a process. So, I raise a toast to you (wallowing or taking a look through the glass past your frustration) and say: It's a new day! Your 12 years are up! Move forward! Seize the day! Kick fear to the curb! 

So, for the rest of this day (evening) and into tomorrow, I choose to rest in peace. I choose to believe that I am taken care of and that 12 years = complete. May you do the same, sweet reader! Remember: all dreamers faced frustration and wallowing moments. They faced a trial so much larger than themselves--sometimes lasting years. But the overcomers stopped and looked around and chose to embrace life! May you do the same.

Carpe Diem!

Beauty is in the Eye of One Beholder

Today started like any other day. The morning began with a gentle whisper followed by a cup of coffee. Each day, we have a decision. We can choose who and what we listen to. As a woman, we are relational and we're called to radiate beauty. But there are many voices telling us what and who is beautiful. Oftentimes, we are told that our look doesn't measure up or that there is something defective. But what others and the world forget, is that it is in the imperfection that true beauty is found. It is that scar that you have because of a time your burnt your hand pulling pizza out of the oven. Beauty is found in the places of imperfection that proclaim your life story. And true beauty is found only in the eye of the Beholder--the one who made you and fashioned you and called you to this earth. He sees you and calls you by name. And what he says is...beautiful.

So, the next time you're wondering if you truly are beautiful, don't wonder. Just believe--you are! This video came across my path and it encouraged my heart to embrace my thunder thighs and bubble butt and the few white hairs that keep returning (no matter how often I highlight them). And so, I want you to embrace who you are--on the outside and on the inside. Because when Jesus looks at you, he calls you beautiful! And when proclaim that through your belief, you can't help but exude beauty to the world! Let's embrace and celebrate today that we are women--called to radiate beauty!

Opening Up the Doors

To be alive is to be vulnerable... -Madeleine L'Engle

Let's face it. None of us really like to hear this. Trust me--I know. It takes courage to be vulnerable. It's like you're laying yourself out naked for the entire world to see. But I think that if we don't take the chance to be vulnerable, then we can miss out on loving to the capacity that we were intended for. Life isn't a neat clean room and box. It gets messy and uncomfortable. Relationships are this way--all relationships--even your relationship with God. But it's worth it, because as it gets messy, it becomes beautiful.

Recently, I've made the decision to open myself up to guys, to be more vulnerable, and to let others into my heart. And you know what? There has been a dramatic shift. As I've said yes to dates and possible relationships, I've learned more about myself.

As a Christian woman, many of us are told at a young age (sometimes even subconsciously), that dating isn't a good idea--that we should only wait around for our future husband. While I do believe that we need to guard our hearts, I think that there is a new level of freedom found by saying yes to a date. But your yes should be on the contingency that he's a Christian--walking daily with the Lord. This doesn't mean that he has to fit all the qualifications that you've put down on your "list." You never know--you might be delightfully surprised as you find out more about him. I will say, though, that after a few dates, you should have an inner peace. This is the peace that passes all understanding and guards your heart and mind. This is the Holy Spirit. He will provide peace if you are to move forward. If the peace hasn't come after 3-4 dates, then you probably need to respectfully decline from moving forward in the relationship romantically.

And guys--I want to apologize. We, as women, are complex. We definitely haven't made things easy for you. In fact--we've paralyzed many of you from stepping forward and asking us out on a date because of our seriousness on the matter. Yes, you do need to make sure that the gal you ask out loves Jesus. Yes, you do need to make sure that she is walking with Him daily. But with that being said, don't put her in a box or have expectations that are impossible for her to fulfill. She is human (just like you). She has flaws and imperfections. But isn't it the way that she handles those flaws that makes her all the more beautiful?

And don't be afraid to ask. What's the worst that could happen? She says: no. Oh well. She will respect you for putting your heart out there and being upfront and honest with your feelings. Don't just watch her for months on end or play the "friend" card. If you're friends, be friends in a group. If your friendship moves into more than 1 or 2 times of one-on-one time, then you need to define the relationship. If it's just a friendship, then say so, step back, and hang out in groups. If it's more than that, say so and then relentlessly pursue her. Be intentional with your decisions, but enjoy your time. The first couple of dates are where you are just beginning to know each other. They are supposed to be light-hearted. Treat them as such.

The key for both guys and gals is this: Be vulnerable while still guarding your heart. Don't stress or worry or consume yourself too much with "if you're making the right decision." Remember that the living God is inside of you. Dialogue with him about it, but don't take things too seriously. He knows exactly who he has planned for you. He's known this since the beginning of time. But he also knows the relationships/friendships that he wants to place in your life along the way--guiding you to your future spouse. Enjoy the ride and trust that His timing is perfect and that it never turns out how you planned. It turns out 100 times better when you partner with God!

By the way, I am a single 30-something. As far as relationships are concerned, I've done things my own way and then God's way. I promise you that his way is the best and he won't let you down. Great things are in store for you! Take the chance. Ask her out. Say yes. Leave it to God!