52 Lists: Week 12

This week, I concluded was a giant lesson of monstrous proportions. It felt like one of those lessons like when I learned to cook. It required trust, patience, and a peace that passes all understanding. It all occurred as I began to reconstruct the kitchen in my house. From the get-go, the kitchen has been my least favorite room in the home. That being said, I was prepared and ready to make it adorable. And then it happened: water began to leak on my kitchen floor. Then the stove broke. Then the seal on the refrigerator was out. Then the washer decided to break. My hands went up and all I could do was laugh.

A dear friend and father in the Lord once spoke to me:

Home is where we have to live out what's in our hearts. Ministry begins at home.

I've always believed this, but truly began to see in the natural what was happening in the spiritual. There was change all around me. Some of it I could control, but most of it I couldn't control. All of this caused me to take a look back and to seek what was truly happening in my heart. I came to this conclusion: I had difficulty trusting. I had difficulty letting go and believing that God's timing was perfect.

Patience. Routine. Unexpected. Depth. Fulfillment.

These are the words for this week. Every situation required patience to the deepest core. It required my heart to take a step back from the routine--habitual occurrences. And in the moment that I stepped back, the unexpected happened. Help came through for my broken appliances. My kitchen began to evolve. Conversations happened. And peace came. A depth of peace that I had never known. My eyes were opened to how when I let go, fulfillment would occur. 

And it did. So, this week and as I move forward into week 13, I choose to let it go. 

52 Lists: Week 11

Inhabit. Built. Satisfy. Committed. Blessing.

Each moment is a gift. Each second (especially in the mundane) is an honor. Our lives are fragile and to wake each morning and to be breathing and taking in life is such a treasure. My heart has been realizing this day after day.

This week was the beginning of a season of transition in my life. I packed all of my belongings up and moved across town into a new home. I said goodbye to apartment living and hello to a house with a backyard. I inhabited a new area. Not only is this my physical address, but it's where my heart and soul dwell. As I unpacked all of my things and began to set up home with my new housemate in a new home, I began to build--in the physical and spiritual. In the natural, I went to work on a pallet kitchen table, an outdoor bench, and wall hangings. I also travailed spiritually--praying over each room and preparing the space for the Holy Spirit to feel at home.

Choose today whom you will serve...But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. 

-Joshua 24:15

As things began to transition with my new home, so they have been transitioning in my heart. I'm realizing again and again that it is only the Lord who will satisfy. Only he will fulfill every crevice in my heart. Nothing in this world comes close to the fullness that I find in Jesus. And so, I have decided time and time again that my roots are planted deep. My heart and mind are secure. I am committed. I'm all in--with relationships, with this home, with ministry, but above all with Jesus.

He has blessed me in every sense of the word and I am stirred to praise him. He places his hand upon me and blesses me--teaching me in this season how to receive, how to be pursued, how to see him in the biggest of pictures and the smallest of details. 

This week marks a season of newness in my heart and mind. My prayer is that you will allow Jesus to inhabit and build his truth in your heart and mind. I pray that he alone satisfies you like no other and that you, in turn, are committed to him alone--seeing the wonderful blessing of his fellowship.

Until next week...

Love Opens Us.

Love opens us up.

Love digs deep.

It never gives up.

Love is vulnerable.

It is honest.

It doesn't push itself on others.

Love just loves.


These phrases have been on repeat in my heart and mind over the past couple of days. Usually, this guarantees a message and truth that Jesus wants me to get deep in my heart and mind. So, I thought I'd share these thoughts with you as well.

I know. Another blog entry about love...

You've been there. Done that. Heard it a million times.

But if we really understood every facet of love and what it means for love to seep out of our every crevice into the hearts of others, then the world's problems would be solved. But we don't understand it. We are constantly learning how to love.

We are, by nature, a wreck. We are selfish and our thoughts are usually on ourselves. Even if you're a Christian and you've asked Jesus to be your all-in-all, it's a process. He's forever smashing through your heart and mind--desiring to have FULL reign over all of you--desiring for  you to radically LOVE!

This is what we were created for! But it takes courage. It takes courage to let go--to open up and to stay there--letting the light of TRUTH invade our hearts and minds. For me, it isn't difficult to allow Jesus to see these places, but to get vulnerable with another--ouch! I'm a work in progress and am thankful for those who have portrayed in the flesh that Love is patient. It doesn't give up.

In a world that is forever uncommitted, my heart is EXPLODING to live out a life abandoned to LOVE! I desire to be open. To be committed. To be vulnerable. To be honest--not pushing myself on others, but patient. I long to love as Christ loves. It's a challenge and will continue to be, but there is FREEDOM in this beautiful LOVE!

Jesus continued to reveal this to me this morning as I prayed for my future husband and family. I believe that it is a key for others to access and receive from as well. May your heart be blessed beyond your comprehension--knowing that he who has called you to love will guide you and help you through the process.

Jesus + you + me = making history.

Keep pursuing LOVE. Keep asking Jesus to teach you how to LOVE those around you and how to LOVE Him! If you know him, he is continually GIVING you his heart to pour back onto to himself and to others. Lean in with me, friend! Let's live a life of LOVE!

52 Lists: Week 10

Breakthrough. Light. Plant. Fellowship. Servant.

Have you ever encountered a day that seemed like a week or a week that felt like a month or a month that seemed like it was a year? 2014 has carried that feeling since day 1, but this week particularly conveyed itself as such. So much occurred in such a short time--not only in what my eyes could see, feel, and touch, but in my heart as well.

Like a sudden springtime rainstorm arrives unexpectedly, yet timely—bringing growth to the earth below, so it was with my life this past week. There was breakthrough and revelation. My prayer was for clarity and a clear insight into two relationships. I knew that I was at the point where I needed supernatural understanding to cut one off in order to move forward. I wasn’t aware of which relationship was to progress and how I would be completely certain. That is, until this past week. I saw true colors. Ugly colors. Beautiful vibrant colors. Colors completely out of the ordinary. I was able to see the heart in both of them. I was able to see what was there all along (or wasn’t there for that matter).

This breakthrough switched a light on in my heart. I had the “ah ha” moment and a smile of utter delight overwhelmed me. Here before me was someone with the heart of a servant. Someone who though beautifully flawed, desired to grow—to move forward—to live out his faith. He, unlike the other, was planted and rooted deep in the truth. He followed through and did things before I asked him. Complaining, unlike myself this week, rarely came out of his lips.  I was astounded and my jaw was left hanging in utter amazement.

This new-found friendship and fellowship has been a joy! I have been left saying: Wow. Huh? I never would’ve guessed it, but I think I have a crush.

It’s humorous what a week can do, isn’t it? So, week ten has been one of lighted breakthrough that has planted me and awakened my heart to true servant fellowship. May you also keep digging deep and discovering the precious insights and revelations around you!

Until next week…

52 Lists: Week 9

discipline.
liberty.
undiminished.
expose.
patience.

What a week! And I'm behind. The words above summarize last week--one of unexpected delights and frustrations. But all the while, I have been coming eye-to-eye with discipline--training, adversity to improve behavior. I've been tested on what love is and living it out in my own life as I never have before.

Like a marathon, it hasn't been a picturesque or beautiful sight. Many times through this week, my heart has been exposed and released of the toxins it has contained: selfishness, abrasiveness, and criticalness. The mud has been in my eyes. My breath has been short, but I continue to run forward. I've wanted to give up. I've wanted to throw in the towel. But love doesn't do that. Love is patient. Love is long-suffering. Love just loves. 

So, my heart is called to be an anchor: steady, even-tempered, quiet, certain. As a child who is told to sit still for the first time, so my heart has been whirling around--desiring to get up, move, and push out all of those who consistently fail in my expectations of them. But love doesn't do that. And I am called to this higher place--patience.

Love doesn't diminish. It's undiminished. It lifts up and calls others to come up to higher places. It encourages and builds up. Like a hot air balloon blows hot air into its vessel--causing it to go higher and higher, love does the same. It blows upon the hearts of others and gives them the liberty to keep reaching upward--to elevate itself vertically. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs or love when it's convenient or when the love is reciprocated. Love just loves.

And so--though I am deeply flawed, I am called to do the same. It's not convenient. It rarely is. It's not easy. I've found it can oftentimes be challenging and difficult. But I'm called to love just the same...

..Especially when everything around screams for me to stop...

Determined to love fully. Completely. Wholeheartedly. Unreservedly. Exploding into the depths of my very being.

Learning to Love Outside the Lines,

Hellen

52 Lists: Week 8

Week 8. New beginnings.

To say that there have been new beginnings this week is an understatement: New job opportunities. New house. New friendships/relationships.

Let's just say that there are new things on the horizon in my life. And to say that I'm excited or elated or filled with overwhelming anticipation for its fulfillment, is an understatement!

Pursue. Attracted. Held. Awaken. Receive.

This week, I realized that it is often in the times where I think that nothing is going to budge, that a door comes flying open. I was uncertain this week as to when things were going to start shifting and moving in areas of promise over my life. And though this week was just another crack in the door, it was a crack just the same.

I fashioned up this revelation: Keep my heart open. Go with the flow. Allow myself to be sought after, chased after--in turn, pursued. In this world, there is an underlying word that is spoken to women: Be strong. Be so strong that you don't appear to need anyone. Because you don't. The truth is this: As a woman, we are called to be strong, but not on our own. We were created to be comforted, sought after, and ultimately pursued. And this begins in our childhood. Women thrive on relationship and intentionality.

So in this pursuit of developing relationships, I noticed the beauty of being captivated. I realized that in each conversation, the moment was intentional and there was a mutual fascination. It's truly a beautiful thing--seeing someone for the first time. And as a Christian, what a gift it is to see another as Jesus sees. It's a gift! And through this blossoming of my heart, I noticed that through it all, I am held.

I am wrapped in the arms of the one who is love. Through all of these moments, my heart is kept safe. I am held by the One who cares for it. This therefore frees me up to be open and to allow myself to be awakened.

Love has stirred me again and has rallied my heart. I am on the precipice of fulfillment and my heart is alive and awake. This then, in turn, has opened me up to receive--to accept, obtain, and to hold.

This is me. This is where I am. Ready. Secure. On the lookout. Hands open. Heart open.

Ready to receive...

...what's already been promised.

Forever hopeful.

May your heart be blessed with the same assurance this week!

Forever grateful,

Hellen