beLOVED

Love...

Never gives up.
Cares more for others than self.
Doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Doesn't strut.
Doesn't have a swelled head.
Doesn't force itself on others.
Isn't always "me first."
Doesn't fly off the handle.
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others.
Doesn't revel when others grovel.
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.
Puts up with anything.
Trusts God always.
Always looks for the best.
Never looks back.
Keeps going to the end.

This piece of scripture has always tugged at my heart, but as the years pass, I'm discovering more and more what love truly is. I've been blessed in being able to uncover this truth for myself. Through the grace of the Holy Spirit, I've been able to see. But the more I learn of love, the more I see how it isn't easy. Love--in its purest form, is difficult. It seems unattainable. And I've come to this conclusion: I can't carry all of these attributes at one time--perfectly. I need help. That's why I love that Jesus IS love. He is all of those attributes and more. And with him, I am able to truly love. I am able to carry love into the darkest of places. I'm able to love whom others would call "unlovable." Because, with him, I am able to see as he sees.

These past couple of weeks have been a challenge because I've been living this scripture first-hand. I have been "pushed out" and the door has been slammed in my face. I have seen rejection in a friendship. There wasn't a reason behind the ending of it. I was forced out and yet--I hear the Father saying: Keep loving. Wait patiently on me. Trust me to do the impossible. Trust me to do above and beyond all you thought was possible. Learn to see as I see. Learn to see me in the truest form. My love is constant. It remains regardless of the response. It remains regardless of the attitude. It just is. And I'm going to teach you about this. Lean into me and see that my ways are so good. When you learn to love as I love, your heart will soar. 

And so, though I am "locked out," I continue to wait. I continue to pray. I remain. And it's difficult, but with Jesus in the mix, this discipline has been wrecking my heart. Jesus has been showing me time and time again of a snapshot of his love for us. My prayer for myself and for you is that you will get to experience and encounter his love in a way that you've never seen before. I pray that this scripture becomes alive to you! May you look into the eyes of the Father and trust him to pour out his love on you, so that you can in turn love yourself and love others!!

Keep going...to the end...

Be LOVED.

BRAVE: Advice to 20s from a 30something (Part 2)

Last week, I began a series of advice to my 20something friends out there--pouring out a bit of advice from myself--a simple 30something.  Over the past couple of years, I have found myself repeating advice to numerous 20somethings. They were words that I wish that someone had taken the time to tell me (or that I would have listened to). So, without further ado, welcome back for part 2 of this series. Grab a cup of coffee, tea, or a glass of wine and enjoy!

• Listen to those wiser (and older than you). 

I can't tell you how valuable and important this is. I believe that people are brought into your life for a specific reason. I also believe that when you are in your 20s, you are filled with passion, vigor, and wonder as you run (some faster than others) towards the future. There are oftentimes people who are older and wiser than yourself that cross your path. Truly wise mentors enter your life, not to deter you, but to assist you in moving toward your dream/desire. Sometimes, they arrive like a mighty wind and are there just for moment. Other times, they are like the roots in a tree--forever in your life to water, pour, and encourage you along your life. Either way, take the time to listen to them. As difficult as this might seem, you don't know everything. You can't do it all on your own and if you think you can, then you need these people more than you realize. Take the time to welcome them into your life. Trust me, you'll be extremely grateful later on!

• Take time to be still.

This is a word for everyone, but those who are in their 20s and under, have a difficult time with this. Take time to be still--to breathe in the sunshine and the day. Turn off the cell phone. Take a day without Facebook, Twitter, and all social media. Take time to turn off all the technology that sends us spinning. Schedule days that you are intentionally still. Speak stillness and peace into your heart and mind. It is in these moments--the moments that you're still--that you come face to face with yourself and the state of your heart. I know, it can be daunting and challenging. But take the time. In this time, you'll find yourself more comfortable with yourself because it will force you to face things. It will force you to take a look and to have the option to change, smile, move forward, etc. Being still is a blessed gift.

• Don't compare your life's progression to others.

This is a challenge (even as a 30something), but what I've personally discovered is that we are all on a different (and yet the same) track. Some of you have gone to college (or are in college) and will go straight into your professional field. You'll "move up the ladder" and will progress through life happenings early on (i.e. buying a house, getting married, having children, etc). Some of you are already there. And that's great! For some of you, you may decide to go a different route. You may not discover your life/professional calling or obtain it until your 30s or 40s. Life is a progression. Some of you will be single for many years before getting married and setting down roots. And it may go against the grain of your personality completely. Trust me. I know. But refuse to get frustrated. You're not out of the loop. Your path is just different. There isn't a direct line/pattern to how life is to be lived. Although, I recommend that it be LIVED FULLY and this means that comparison needs a good kick in the rear. Keep living and...

• Take your battles one at a time.

This leads me to final word of advice today: Tackle your battles/goals one at a time. Look at one and take it on--immediately. Believe that you will overcome and that the battle will be won. But as you're doing this--whether it's a dream of completing graduate school, starting a business, praying for a loved one, beating cancer, etc., don't go in at it alone. Tackle the battle one moment at a time, but never go in it alone. Relationships are good to keep you vulnerable, centered, and accountable. They also keep you from getting overwhelmed in your battle.

So, friends, take courage. Take courage to keep embracing life and may my life lessons be an encouragement to your hearts. Here's to next week as we approach Part 3 of this ever-evolving series! Continued peace and grace to your heart!!

52 Lists: Week 3

I am now finishing up week 3 of my 52 Lists. For those of you who are unaware, I'm collecting words that inspire, describe, and summarize the previous week of my life. This week was challenging while being a  season of continual self-discovery and revelation in my heart.

Atmosphere. Communication. Expect. Treasure. Uncontrollable.

This week, I have found myself in continual prayer--crying out to Jesus for breakthrough in my life and in the lives of others. Through this, I have become more and more aware of the atmosphere around me. Now, I'm not only speaking about this in the physical sense (though that is important). I am talking about what is unseen. While I've been in prayer, my eyes have been opened to the war that is waging. There is a battle--not only for the salvation of souls, but for people's healing, restoration, and walking in the fullness of FREEDOM!

While pressing in, I've recognized something: Communication is key. I have to be listening, as well as speaking. Both are important in  my relationship with Jesus and with others. If I'm not listening, then I don't know what to speak. But if I don't speak, then I cut off the power of sharing life. And it's a beautiful place to be!

All while communicating, it's imperative that I expect, but don't hold those expectations over another person. It's important to expect God. It's imperative that I always expect him to show up and do what I could never have done on my own. As a believer and follower of him, I should be aware that he is always present and that I can expect him to show up moment-by-moment! This week, I opened the window a bit further into this truth and it's awesome!

And as I peered through the window of this truth, I identified this: I am His treasure! I am a treasure worth fighting for. I am a beloved treasure--and so are you! Wherever you are in life, in faith, etc., remember this. It's so important!

Finally, the word that sums up this week for me is uncontrollable. There have been many things this week, and in my life for that matter, that I've been unable to control. For a type A personality and a planner, this can be a difficult truth to swallow. I can't control everything. I especially can't control others' decisions. I am only able to control mine. And here is what I've decided to choose: LOVE. I choose love and I choose to love everyone who comes across my path to the fullest! I need help to do this, but believing it can be done with LOVE!

I have decided to be aware of the atmosphere, so that I can communicate, expect, treasure, and remember that there are uncontrollable things that will happen in my life, but I am called to LOVE!

Have a blessed week and keep on digging deep into the places of your heart. There's so much to discover!

BRAVE: Advice to 20s from a 30something (Part 1)

Lately, I've been connecting with countless individuals in their 20s. In our discussions, I've found myself repeating over and over to them: How I wish someone had told me in my 20s what I know now in my 30s.

And though much learning is obtained through experience, here are some things I feel, with a great amount of responsibility, to relinquish to you:

• Don't be afraid. Go headstrong into things that make you uncomfortable.

There are many things that will seem daunting or challenging or unattainable. They will push you out of your comfort zone. That's where the decision comes in. Don't be afraid to fail. Those who don't try will never know. That being said...

• Don't expect immediate results. Great dreams take time--lots of time.

Whether you are wanting to climb Mt Everest, travel for a year, start a business, run a marathon, record an album, adopt, or become a loving wife/husband, these things take time. Don't expect to accomplish them overnight. Expect hardships to go along with them. Expect other people to doubt you or your dream. But continue to move forward into the unknown. It's worth it. But it'll take some time.

• Love people. Get vulnerable. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

I can't begin to tell you how I wish I had absorbed this truth in my heart more rapidly than I did. Hurt is guaranteed. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't embrace love. Because when you fail to do so, you can find yourself alone or surrounded with people who know part of your heart--but not all of it fully. So, open up. You never know where the conversations might lead. You never know how a moment could be a step towards your destiny.

• Say "yes" to the date that you're not quite sure how you feel. "Maybes" could surprise you with a "yes."

This is a piece of advice I sincerely encourage others to take on. Many times, you find yourself surprised (good and bad)!  If the date goes horribly, well ladies, at least you received a free meal. Fellas, you were able to at least narrow your search down a bit more. If it goes well, then need I say more? You're glad you said yes! Take the chance. It's always more than worth it.

• Follow through on what you said you were going to do. Don't shy from commitment. 

This is self-explanatory, but I can't begin to tell you how many 20-somethings fail in this area. Follow through demonstrates your character. It shows the corners of your heart to others. Follow through. If it's a goal for yourself or a word/promise to another, then follow through. Complete it. You'll learn quite a bit in the process and a sense of gratification upon reaching its completion.

• Treasure your family and the relationships you've been given. They are truly a treasure.

Family is a gift. This is difficult to see sometimes, but if you allow yourself to see them and love them where they are, you'll find yourself amazed. They are a gift--so are the friendships/relationships that are brought into your life. Take the time to invest in them. Spend time listening. Spend time pouring into the lives of those around you. They are the greatest treasure.

There are many other things to pass along your way, but you'll just have be patient. Part 2 will be coming next week! Until then--take one of these words to heart! Carpe Diem!! Seize the day. Be vulnerable. Say yes to the date. Follow through. Treasure relationships. But above all--LOVE!!

Until next week...

Verdicts and Such.

So--the week of 52 Lists continues. This week delivered words and feelings at my doorstep that were unexpected and yet certain:

Verdict. Unexpected (and yet expected). Inexpressible. Pouring. Falling.

When we love, we are left vulnerable. Raw. Moved to the core. And it's what we do with it that determines our deepest nature. If the love is returned, then we can either receive it or reject it. Either way, we take the chance to be opened--exposed. And we're left with an unexpected inexpressible pouring out of our souls--out of the fabric of our beings.

This week carried this weight--this truth, more than once. There was a verdict--leaving me raw, exposed, and opened. And though challenging, I've glimpsed and peered into places I haven't been to in awhile. And so this leaves me grateful.

May each week find you reflective and certain. May you peer into unknown places and allow your heart to be completely exposed to those around you. For it is only through relationships that we are challenged to view ourselves--to then take a look inwardly. True relationships scrape and cut and challenge us to be better--to shine as we never have before. They aren't afraid of getting messy or of offending. No, these friends will love you to the bitter end--always desiring the absolute best for you.

So allow yourself to take the time to be left vulnerable and open. You may fall--hard, but it's still more precious than diamonds. It reveals the truth to you: You are living!

Take your time, babe. It's just some rivers and streams between you and where you wanna be. (Glen Hansard: The Song of Good Hope)

Goodbye to the Merry-go-Rounds

As my eyes slowly opened this morning and my heart wrestled through many unknowns and my mind reached unsuccessfully to comprehend it all, the sun shone beautifully through my shades and reminded me that today was a new day! My feet swung across the bed onto the cold and unwelcoming floor and I began my routine--always starting with a cup of coffee. After I had my brewed black addiction with a splash of white for good measure, I opened up my Bible and Pandora music mix. This is when I "ran across" this quote:

God doesn't want us to be frustrated and feel unworthy of the blessings he desires to give us. 

-Joyce Meyer

It really spoke to the deep crevices of my heart. God doesn't want me to be frustrated. He doesn't want me to be disheartened or discouraged. Really? So--he wants me to be the opposite? Full of heart and passion? Full of courage? How had I allowed my heart to get into such a detestable place? Hadn't I been spending time with the caregiver of my heart and soul for years? 

But here's the beauty: God doesn't reveal all of the lies that I believe to me at once. If he did, then I would be a wreck--literally. But it's in the quiet moments--the moments that the sun sweetly beams across my face, that he whispers TRUTH directly into my heart. 

I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to get a bit unconventional and crazy when something is out of my control. But oftentimes what I want to control--relationships, etc., I don't want to bridle or restrict. Oh--the continual nauseating merry-go-round I hop on and off of!  

I desire relationships to take their course, to be pursued and sought after, but time after time, I have difficulty relaxing--receiving. I am constantly thinking that I need to do something to obtain or deserve it. And hence, I step on this oh so familiar and childlike ride--trying to make things happen on my own timing. But all the while, I just find myself "spinning." 

But, if I'm honest, that isn't love. It's manipulation. It's self-seeking and empty. And aren't relationships supposed to be built on love? Not being manipulative or self-seeking? Aren't they supposed to carry a fullness of life when they are in their purest form?

I believe so. No--I know so.

And so after soaking through this beautiful truth, I'm taking a deeper look inside to the places of my heart. And I coming to this realization: God wants me to be full of courage, life, and worth. He wants me to receive the blessings he desires to give me. But this doesn't come from any effort of my own. It comes from resting in Him. It comes from leaning back and allowing him to take the reigns in the relationships of my life. I'm left with open hands and peace--trusting that he who has said it will surely do it.

No more spinning--only resting and receiving.

Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. -C.S. Lewis

Revelatory Equilibrium

I would call myself a confident woman. I am secure in my own skin. I've fallen--hard. I've climbed to heights that others would call "impossible." I've looked into thousands of faces and one conclusion I've come to is this: We are all a work in progress. We are continually evolving. And in the midst of it all, there needs to be an indicative discovery--an authentic unearthing.

Lately, my heart has been having this familiar and yet, unfamiliar road of authentically unearthing my heart. I believe in sifting through what is truth and what are lies. And in my experience, this can only be truly obtained through relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. So, in my search, this has been exposed: I only know a facet of what LOVE is--what relationship is.

Discovering love in a heart of another (particularly the opposite sex) has always been a wonderful idea. But it's always seemed unattainable or attainable for some, but not for me. Or--if it did welcome itself at my door, my inner self is what they would be attracted to..not the outside. Or, if they did see the outside, then they would be plainly or average looking themselves.

Yes, I know it sounds strange, but the unearthing has been erupting in my heart. And my conclusion (after numerous days of processing), is this: I am beautiful--inside and out. I am worthy of the one made for my heart. I am confident and evolving, but mostly--resting in the goodness of where my worth comes from: Jesus.

And all of this verbal processing is to communicate this: Jesus knows. He's letting me in to learn to see as He sees (especially myself). He sees the hearts of those around me. And his timing is perfect in melding and molding us together--opening our eyes to truly see each other!

And so, as this process continues to unearth in my heart, I find that I have begun to radiate in all areas of my being. And I feel a deep sense of obligation to convey these thoughts and truths to you. Not for my own exaltation, but for you, my friend, to apply it to your own life. Take the time to truly listen and to allow your heart to be beautifully exposed--uncovered into the light. And may you see there what has been there all along: you are of great worth. God's timing is perfect and his match for you is exactly what you need when you need it.

Forever unearthing...

Hellen

Intertwining Surprises.

Intertwined. Pensive. Beautiful. Possible. Surprises.

These were the words that stood out this week--a week that honestly felt like months. So much has occurred in my heart and mind. There's been quite a bit to digest and absorb, but it's been amazing. As I reflect and take you back to the memories of the beginning of 2014 with me, let's look at the words:

• Intertwined: to unite by twisting or turning together
• Pensive: dreamily or wistfully thoughtful
• Beautiful: possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc, delighting the senses or mind
• Possible: that may be, happen
• Surprises: to come upon or discover suddenly or unexpectedly 

Though each of these words highlight by themselves, when paired together, they tell a story. This week, for me, was one to be remembered. I was introduced to new people--a beautiful surprise. My life became intertwined with individuals who helped me pensively discover new things about myself and others. I was left with a delight at all the possibilities that were before me.

My mind has been renewed and this year has reminded me of how important it is to be open--open to the unexpected. Open to each day and the beautiful weight it carries. Even amongst the mundane, it carries a beauty like no other. 

And I'm not sure what next week carries, but I'm positive that it'll hold words like patience, unexpected, explanation, certain, and deliberate. I guess I'll just have to see like I did for this week. My challenge to you is to reflect more. Take the time to be creative. Be deliberate in  your processing--whether internal or external. And keep seeing the story as you move along--because life is such a beautiful story!!

Until next week...

Intentions

Last night, as the wintry storm blew through Nashville, I had a few hours to reflect on this upcoming year, hopes, dreams, relationships, and the beauty of life. During this time of reflection, I ran across a Facebook post from a friend of a friend. He wrote some advice out to 20-somethings concerning relationships. As a 30-something, I noticed the words that I've often found myself saying to those in their 20's. Here are the writer's thoughts:

1. HAVE THE HARD CONVO'S: Confrontation can be tough, but get over it. It leads to deeper and more meaningful friendships when things are confronted head on. DON'T AVOID HARD CONVERSATIONS. It's a sign of immaturity. This isn't high school anymore; unless you want it to be.

2. BE HONEST: Honesty is powerful. LOVE someone enough to tell them the truth. You'll be so glad you did. You'll be better for it and you might actually help the other person out as well.

3. REAL TALK: Face-to-face conversations are important. DO NOT try to deal with things over *text. It's so awkward and really doesn't work as well as you *think it does.

4. OPEN YOUR MIND AND SEE: Deal with your *stuff and be open to seeing situations from many different sides. There are always 2 sides to the same story. And often, BOTH sides are partially right and BOTH sides are partially wrong. That's why you have to see the whole picture through honest and open conversation.

5. REMEMBER, YOU ARE KIND OF STUPID TOO: Don't take yourself too seriously. Laugh at your mistakes and apologize often. Realize that you've probably been just as much of a douche as you're making the other person out to be 

6. FIGHT FOR FRIENDSHIPS & LIVE WITH NO REGRETS: Don't let relationships fall under the bus over petty stuff. People are the most important *thing you'll ever have. You don't want to look back and think, "Why did I make such a big deal about that? And why didn't I make things right with _____?" 

My heart was encouraged, but it spurred a place in me to write to others. I am a gal who loves to meet other people and to hear their stories. I love the richness that is found in the heart. Jesus is the God of the heart. He valued our hearts so much that he died for us--so that we could live. Maybe this is why relationships mean so much to me. Maybe it's why quality time is the number one way I believe that you can show someone that you care. And maybe that's why I make it a priority to FIGHT for every relationship that is brought across my path. 

Jesus brings people into your life. They are a gift. Their hearts are a gift--even when it doesn't feel like it. Our greatest witness is how we treat their hearts. Now, don't take this the wrong way. I don't believe that you are to be best friends with every person that crosses your path, but I do believe that they are an investment. They are a true investment into your life. It is up to you as to how you'll handle that investment. Will you squander it away. Will you bury it. Will you ignore it or will you value it--tending and developing it?

Trust me. I know this is work. It's a challenge, but it's worth it. But we need the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to guide us and help us with each heart. He knows each heart and we need his eyes to see as he sees. 

Finally, let me leave you with this encouragement concerning dating, etc:

Guys: If you spend quality time with a gal, let your intentions be made known. Don't leave her wondering. If you just want to be friends, then let her know. And don't linger too long in your time together. Make your intentions known (vocally).

Girls: Let the guy lead. Don't share everything about yourself all at once, but do be open with your heart. Be patient, but honest. Let him know where you stand (vocally). 

The point is--value each heart you come across. Treat it as your own. Aim to treat it as the Lord values and treasures yours.