Tides

Have you ever stood at the edge of the ocean's shore and allowed the tips of your toes to touch the sea? As the tide begins to move in, the water continues to cover up more of your feet. If you stand there long enough, you'll be ankle deep, waist deep, and then completely consumed. As a gal who grew up with a little bit of salt behind her ears, one of my favorite ways for my soul to be "quieted" and to reflect is to stand on the ocean's edge. There is peace there. The tide goes in and out. The water--in and out. Like my heartbeat, the rhythms of the waves are steady.

Now, the events in my life aren't always steady. They are rarely predictable. But with each event and season that comes, my heart has disciplined itself to become steady. Because, my heart is steady in the goodness and nature of the One who resides there: Jesus.

But it's not always easy--especially when the world's chaos ensues. And the lies of the enemy try to crash into my mind. But like the steadiness of the tide, the truth remains constant.

A word of wisdom was spoken to me a few years ago and it wasn't until recently that it's begun to spring up in my heart. The revelation has come! He said this: When pain and difficulty occurs, it is important to talk about the challenge. It is vital to let out all the poison. But then there is a time for "letting it go." True healing has occurred when you no longer need to speak about the pain. Or, if you do speak of it there is only LIGHT. There is only LOVE. There isn't pain. There is complete forgiveness.

The story isn't who we are. The pain isn't who we are. Who we are is this: Beautiful. A beautiful daughter/son of God.

So, as I reflect on the tide that conveys the "comings and goings," I've realized that like the tide, I am called be steady. Steady in my heart. Steady in my faith. Steady in forgiveness. Steady in the knowledge of who I am in Jesus.

Steady. Secure. Certain.

Especially in the uncertainty.

A Pile of Love

I think that the most difficult thing is allowing yourself to be loved, so receiving the love 

and feeling like you deserve it is a pretty big struggle. I suppose that's what I've learned 

recently, to allow myself to be loved. -Nicole Kidman

I recently read this quote and it resonated with my heart deeply. For months, I've been 

avoiding writing on this blog. I wanted to put it on the shelf and to quit writing completely. 

But there is this other part of me that has a voice and knows that I have a message to tell. I 

have a message to tell because I've lived it and am continuing to live it. I am a single 30-

something. I, like you, am a story. My life is a story. Each moment. Each season. Like the 

leaves that we rake and bag up in the fall (or jump in, in my case), so are the seasons that we

walk and live through. The friendships, relationships, moments filled with joy, moments 

filled with pain--each second rolls up into a brilliant display of colors. All are different, but 

together--they are stunning. That's how I've recently seen life. And family.

There are "leaves" that we'd like to take and disregard, but if we do, then our splendid pile of

experiences would be null and void. It wouldn't look the same. 

I recently walked through a season of lack and of a broken heart. My heart had grieved for

months and it wasn't until recently that I have begun to "see the light." Though it was a 

season filled with difficulty, I wouldn't have changed it for anything. It made me see who I 

am and the good qualities that I have (and had somehow forgotten). It made me take a step 

back and ponder what I truly wanted in this next chapter of my life. In my professional life. 

In my personal life. In my spiritual life. All of it. 

And so--I've been assessing myself. And I've come to this conclusion:

I had put myself on the back burner for the sake of others. Now, this is a good thing (to a 

point), but there comes a time where it's vital for every individual to truly decide what they

want (and to not feel guilty in the process). Because, this actually benefits all of those around

them in the most positive light. The trouble is, I always have had a difficulty receiving love 

not from God, but in my profession and from a man. 

So, in all this assessing, I choose to be open. I choose to be intentional. And I choose to 

believe and know that I can allow myself to be loved. I choose to be vulnerable once more

and to trust.

I choose to JUMP IN the pile. 

The good. The bad. The ugly. 

The delightful moments. The painful ones. 

I choose to JUMP! 

Cheering you on as you do the same!

In Your Time

Romans 12:1 (MSG), Ecclesiastes 3:11

I don't know about you, but I like to fix things. If something is broken, I like to see the beauty in it and turn it into something beautiful. My house exudes this truth. I had a piece of furniture that was beyond repair. As it collapsed (literally) to the ground, my friends who were assisting me, wanted to throw the pieces of wood away. I immediately yelled (with all my longing and passion)--NO!! THERE'S STILL VALUE THERE!! My friends proceeded to look at me as though I had 10 heads, but they willingly shrugged their shoulders and left the wood. I then took those pieces, sanded and painted them and made them into wall hangings (there are still pieces being used). They are chalkboard hangings that have various inspirational quotations throughout ever-changing seasons.

This desire of mine to "fix things" stirred in my heart and mind and I started processing. Why is it that I like to fix things? Why do I try to take something of little or no value to someone else and make it into something of use and purpose? Why do I fight for relationships with my family and friends and even acquaintance--doing all that's in my power to fix them? Why do I have a hard time hearing "no"? Why do I keep pushing forward?

I believe that the answer lies in Jesus. This is what he did. But unlike me, he knew when and how to surrender. He knew the hearts and minds of those around him. He knew that some would resist being "fixed". He knew many would reject him and retaliate in hate and anger. But he loved them anyway. He didn't force himself on them. And I believe that Jesus calls us as believers to this as well. He gives us HIS eyes to see others as he sees them (even if that isn't where they are yet). He helps us to see where he desires for them to be. But he hasn't called us to be the Holy Spirit or to fix them. He has called us to surrender them to himself.

And I don't know about you, but this is HARD for me to do. I want things restored--NOW. I want reconciliation--NOW. I want things in my own timing. But that isn't how love operates. Love waits. Love is patient and kind. Love doesn't hold expectations. Love doesn't force itself on others. It doesn't demand its own way. Love just loves. Love (Jesus) meets others where they are. He's gentle. He's just and strong, but tender. And at just the right time, he knows how/when each heart will be broken and is ready to be restored into something beautiful (what He had planned all along)!

We are faithless worriers, so often forgetting the promises He's made.
but he gives more grace

We are striving, controlling doubters, afraid to loosen our grip on what we hold most dear.
but he gives more grace

Jesus loves to partner with you in bringing restoration, but remember--he is the ultimate advocate!

Peace to you this week and weekend!

52 Lists: A Season of New

Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand. -Mother Teresa

I don't have to tell you that a new season is coming. You know it. Autumn is right around the corner. Summer is ending. Children have gone back to school. The last swims of the season are in sight. The smells are changing and the leaves are beginning to demonstrate their vibrant colors. 

I, like the natural season changes, am also in a season change of my life. Newness is upon me. I can't see it in the natural, but am believing all that Jesus has been speaking to me. It is a time of harvest. A season of receiving. A season of fulfillment. I have a new roommate coming, a new job coming, and many other places of "new" in my life. And if I'm honest--the change scares me a bit. I am welcoming it, but trying not to look back, but only forward. I am in a season of "I do not know." And it's beautiful and freeing! Praise be to God who always KNOWS! Praise be to the ONE who is faithful in all things and who is constant and yet, new every day!

As my heart begins to move into agreement with this upcoming season, I am thankful that amongst the lists and all the things that try to vie for my attention, my God is constant. He IS the fruit in ALL seasons and within reach of EVERY hand!! He is love and he does not waver.

So, whatever season you're moving in or out of, know that there is ONE who is constant. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is always good. He is for you! Embrace this time and SEE him and all his goodness!!

52 Lists: Weeks 27 & 28

Whirlwind. Such a simple word, but one composed with a variety of colors and attributes that it sucks up everything in its path. That was how these past 2 weeks spun on by. Each different from the next. But here we are and I'm just now taking the time to write on them. 

Persevere. Bless. Commit. Strong. Remembrance. Listen.

How these words spin through my head. I do a lot of thinking while I am driving or doing house cleaning. Yesterday and today proved no different. I've been struggling recently with truly loving the way that I want to love--pure love--no manipulation or selfishness--just love. But the more friendships and relationships that I'm in, the more I'm realizing that I'm unable to do this 100% of the time. Love takes work. It takes prayer. It requires both parties involved to roll up their sleeves and put in 100% of sacrifice. And then to keep choosing the person in front of them.

My mama mentioned how it is this act that often causes people to part ways. They have difficulty doing that for a lifetime. But I believe that each of us was designed to love this way. I believe that we were designed to let go of our selfishness and to love with abandon.

The words persevere, bless, listen, commit, and listen rang strong in my mind. I believe that each relationship encourages us to persevere under the trial and to bless unconditionally. True successful relationships also require us to listen and to commit--to lean over each morning and evening and say YES! They require all of us, but it is those few relationships that come into our lives that shape and mold us into all that we want and desire to be. They challenge us to be a better person.

What a world we live in! I choose to believe in the beauty of relationships, reconciliation, and the beauty in between.

Forever looking out into the horizon...

Hellen 

52 Lists: Week 26

Wherever you are, be all there. Generate kindness and joy wherever you go. You are a carrier of life. Pour out yours for all to see.

The above words have been the catalyst for not only this week, but for this season of my life. I have noticed over the past couple of weeks how there have been things that have been trying to capture and take my attention--trying to steal my joy.

Like summertime crabs caught in a net, so it can be with our lives if we don't stay focused. It's important to stay focused on the task at hand--why we are here and what we're called to.

So this week, the words that summarized my past week are the following:

Fireworks. Struggle. Laughter. Opportunities. Colors.

May you take hold of each day and squeeze all the life of it that you can!

Continued peace to each of you.

Until next week...

52 Lists: Week 25

The words gathered from this week lead my heart to a story:

obedience. cultivate. gentleness. battling. determination. strength. filter. contributor. extension. incline. forbearance. connected. affirms. teach. gratefulness. humility.

Each morning, I wake up and take a moment to lay in bed for a few minutes. It doesn't take long before my mind begins to race. This morning wasn't any different. I have to command peace upon it, so that my mind comes into agreement with my spirit. I pulled myself out of bed and allowed my feet to touch the cold barren floor. As I slowly made my way to the kitchen to brew the coffee, I began to clean. The coffee was being filtered and so was the kitchen and the inside of the refrigerator. 

It wasn't until after I had drawn myself back to a place of stillness that I began to ponder what just happened. The act of filtration in the kitchen, was also what had occurred in my heart over the past week. There had been miscommunication, misunderstanding, etc. Basically--things had been "missed". But what had been happening was more of a heart issue than anything. I had been trying to handle situations on my own strength. I had failed to extend my hand to allow my Savior to filter, humble, and offer strength to me. I had failed to walk in obedience. But the beauty of this (as it was with the coffee and the kitchen this morning), was the lesson was a process. It required my attention and inclination of my ears and heart. How thankful I am that Jesus is forever teaching us and growing us in truth and humility.

Like my refrigerator, I'd be a mess without a good clean up in my heart. It's all because of his grace that he takes the time to do what I oftentimes neglect. What a husband! What a father! What a teacher! What a Savior! What a LORD!! 

Until next week and all that it holds...

52 Lists: Week 24

Pace. Steadiness. Current. Pattern. Enlightened.

Have you ever noticed the coming and the going of the ocean tide? My family and I love going to the beach. As a "low country" gal, the ocean was as familiar to me as my daddy's cooking. But it wasn't until a visit a few weeks ago that I started to observe the ocean tides more closely. I'm personally a fan of high tide, but there wouldn't be a high tide without a low tide. I pondered on this natural pattern. And as I did, I came to this revelation: There are currents in our lives. Relationships. Friendships. Career changes. Moves. Births. Deaths.

There is truly a time and a season for everything. And there is a current of change and of seasons. This past week has been one of ebb and flow--continually discovering more of my heart and filtering out what doesn't need to remain there. And yet, like the ocean tide, this week has been steady and has enlightened my heart--forever reminding me of the beauty of constancy and change.

So, as I began to stare at the ocean tide rise and fall, my heart was encouraged in the moment. I recollected the ebbs and flows of this past year and especially this week. I took a deep breath and can say that keeping a steady pace and current is enlightening to my heart!

Until next week (or a few days, since I'm behind)...

Hellen

52 Lists: Week 23

To laugh at oneself carries a great level of freedom!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you never thought you would? This was me yesterday. I somehow carried the grace to lock myself out of my house and my car! What a treat! Fortunately, I wasn't standing forlorn and helpless in my towel or bathrobe. I did have my phone in hand, as well as my water bottle. Hydrated? Check. Able to call for help? Check. Completely embarrassed? Check.

But though I was humbled in having to call for help, I was left thankful. Because I was able to get in a good laugh at myself. And boy did I ever!

As I reflect back on yesterdays "blonde" stupidity, I am reminded of how life is filled with unexpected moments. And we have a choice to see them as an opportunity to laugh or to get irritated. We can take in the moment and enjoy life for what it is and roll with it, or let the situation ruin our day. I was reminded of this again today as I got caught behind an extremely slow driver. Would I laugh or would I let irritation have the last word?

One goal of mine for this year was to laugh more than I cry. Now don't get me wrong, I've cried this year. But I've also never laughed more than I have recently.

So, take each moment today (especially the unexpected) and be reminded that it is a gift.

Until next week...

Hellen

Skills for Travel Consultants

What Skills do Travel Consultants Need?

Whether you are a seasoned traveler or have taken numerous road-trips, you know that trips of all kinds take planning. There are mountains of details that need to be handled in order for a trip to be successful.

Families, groups, and individuals take trips for leisure, humanitarian purposes, adoption, and business. They all have different expectations of what they desire to happen on their trip. But one thing is a common factor for all of them: discovery—discovery of who they are and their lives. They desire to leave the routine behind to embark on the unexpected.  That being said, travelers want to be prepared to know what to expect before heading into the unfamiliar.

All travel consultants need to carry specific skills in order to fulfill the desire of their client. Here are three skills that are imperative:

Communication Skills

Travel planning involves a lot of details. Therefore, it is imperative that you can communicate effectively to your client. This is not limited to one form of communication either. You need to be available to communicate in person, conference call, email, social media, etc.  Spreadsheets, invoices, and other written documentation are effective in addition to vocal communication. In the world of travel, you have many cultures to cross barriers with. Therefore, that means more communicating. Never be afraid of communicating too much! Better to be over-communicative than not enough. This helps you keep the details in order as well.

Logistical Skills

In addition to having solid communication skills, it is imperative to have logistical knowledge and expertise. Travel planning is filled with details. From flights to accommodations to cultural background, there is an extensive amount of information that you need to provide to your client , airlines, hotels, service providers, etc. It is important that you are wired to plan, plan, plan--to have the details under wraps. You’ll need to be continually one step ahead of your client’s thoughts—ready to provide all the information they need for their trip. Excel spreadsheets, charts, and word documents are a key source. As a consultant, it is advised that you have a daily, weekly, monthly, & yearly planner.  Personally, I recommend a written planner, as well as an electronic one.

Even as a student, I would advise that you begin implementing these skills into your every day life. Have a binder, planner and spreadsheets of trips you are “planning”.

Cultural Knowledge

Have you ever been to a place and truly felt like you were “lost in translation”? Maybe you were in a country where they spoke a different language. Or, maybe it was just a trip to the city or country an hour away. Either way, you felt out of your comfort zone. All of us have been there (including travel consultants).

In order to help you succeed in your skills, it is important that you are knowledgeable about different cultures. Experience is the best teacher, but you won’t always have that luxury. Go to the library. Read up on various cultures, holidays, and traditions. Volunteer with different people groups. Have a mentor who has traveled extensively. Learn from them. Watch foreign films. Go to art festivals of various cultures.  The key is to saturate your mind and soul with other parts of the world. From there, you will find your area of passion and it will seep into your client’s hearts as you communicate in helping them with their travel planning.

Communication skills, logistical skills, and cultural knowledge are the top three qualities of a travel consultant. The next post will give you some more insight into skills that will help you grow in your business.

Source:

Hellen Willett: MKI Group Travel

52 Lists: Week 22

Words. Fear. Character. Argument. Freedom.

Five words. They say so little, but speak so much. Have you ever had a week that moved like a roller-coaster? One minute it was fast and then it slowed down only to speed back up again? This past week consisted of getting back into the routine of things. After a long weekend of vacation, parties, festivities, and a lot of fun, I was excited about the mundane week ahead.

Well, as some weeks go, all my plans didn't go according to plan and I had to roll with them. In addition to this, I had friendships bringing ebb and flow to my life. Like the waves of the sea, there were moments of calm and peace and then a tidal wave of emotion submerging my heart and mind. And then stillness again.

And it all seemed to start with words--words of comfort and then of hurt. It's amazing how powerful words are and how it is the action in using them that effects our hearts. Words can cause us to love or then to fear and distrust. They reveal part of our character--our inner heart--the part that we oftentimes don't want others to see. But far too often, we don't think before we speak and we let words come out. And like tidal waves, they crash hard upon the banks of the hearts around us.

This past week, I had 2 different arguments with two people whom I love dearly. One was over miscommunication and the response was given by not speaking about what happened. Or, more likely, it was one-sided in communication. The other was laid out before both to see--like vomit. Gross. Sudden. And unwanted.

But the beautiful silver lining that I recognized through this week, was the insurmountable freedom that was given to the relationship with the open argument. Laying out oneself for the other to see, though vulnerable and difficult, was beautiful. It was a mess, but what made it beautiful was the willingness to have it out in the open for the other to see.

Up and down. Up and down. This is often the story of our lives. But it is the willingness to go through both of those places--unashamed and open--that can demonstrate the absolute beauty of this life.

I'll close with this:

You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have a say in who hurts you.

The same goes for joy. Choose openness and vulnerability. You'll win every time.

Until next week...

52 Lists: Weeks 20 & 21

This week, instead of using a lot of strenuous words and divulging my heart and soul into a story--reaching out to the vast cataclysmic void, I will leave you with the 10 words that summarized the past 2 weeks and a picture depicting it all:

Moments. Limitless. Abeyance. Imagine. Lessons.
Dedication. Unspoken. Rhythm. Felicity. Unconditional.

Ode to Grandy

A man's gotta believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.

Success is found in the little things.

Scotch. Wine. Banjo. Storyteller. Quick temper but first to forgive.

Salesman. Family Man. Activist. Journalist. 

Advocate for the arts. World traveler.

Man of faith and everyone's best friend.

My hero.

This was my grandfather. Now, I was a girl blessed with four grandfathers. And though 2 of them are deceased and 2 remain, there was one who was especially close to my heart: Grandy--my mother's father. I believe that from the time I was born until his death, there was a unique relationship between us. I was often referred to as the "apple of his eye." Grandy--known to most as Tom Potts, held more of my heart than I realized. One thing that made him different was his desire to be "up in your face"--getting personal right away. Loving you right where you were. He had a vivacious taste for life and for spreading the joy of life to others. Many of my memories were up at Woodfork--a home of ours in northern Georgia. The disciplined man he was, he would be up early to read his Bible and then go jogging. Afterwards, I would find him cooking breakfast for the family--always with a smile. Come to think of it, he was often in the kitchen. In the evening, you could always find him with his glass of scotch and water with music on in the background. There was always sensational food, wine, music, and laughter. And of course--storytelling. He could take me back in time to the roaring 20s or the bombing threats in Alabama in the 60s. I always felt as if I were apart. I always felt included and most of all--I felt special and completely loved. When staying with him and my grandmother, we'd always end the evening by reading aloud, singing a song, dancing a dance, watching a classic film, or a bit of all the above. Every person involved felt loved beyond compare and immediately at home. 

It's funny how someone who's been gone now for almost 15 years can still be so deeply enriched on my heart and mind. I want to leave an imprint like that on others. It inspires me to forgive quickly, love passionately and to give wholeheartedly--to be completely present wherever I am.

So, Grandy--Here's to you! A woman has to believe in something. I believe I'll raise my glass to you! Here's to another 15 years!

All my love...

Missing you daily...

Hellen

52 Lists: Week 19

Over the past couple of months, I've had a broken washer in my house. The dryer worked, but the belt blew on the washer. And it decided to break at the moment when my finances, heart, and soul were blown as well.

Therefore, it has been sitting in my ever-so-small kitchen for the past couple of months (waiting patiently to be fixed). I knew what the problem was. It was a broken belt. But I was unable to fix it on my own and my pride and lack of finances refused to remedy the situation.

This is how I am (far too many times than I would like to admit) with my heart. Complacent. Weak and prideful all at the same time. Unwilling to be transformed. But like the broken washer, my heart stares at me day in and day out--waiting, hoping, expecting to be repaired.

This week, there was forgiveness. Not only for those that were around who had hurt me, but also myself. Life orchestrated itself this week. Life blew up in my face and I was given an opportunity to fester or to allow LOVE to repair all the mess around me. I chose LOVE this time. It wasn't a planned choice, but a spontaneous action--only orchestrated by a Father who knows and loves me more than I could imagine.

The washer was repaired (for free)! My heart was repaired (by grace)! And the hearts of those around me were repaired as well.

Like the spinning washer, I am a work in progress. And so, I will spin--focused on the One who is able to handle every situation.

Forever thankful and living in the day...

Until next week.

52 Lists: Week 18

Have you ever stood next to a kettle while you wait for the water to boil? It seems like the water will never boil. Tap, tap, tapping of your fingers on the countertop. The never-ending drumming in your head that whistles LONG before the actual kettle rings.

This was my scenario this past week.

So many thoughts. Too many to count. And boy, were my fingers ever drumming. My heart had difficulty being still. But 5 words were able to sum up the entire scenario:

Burdened. Devotion. Conviction. Waiting. Focus.

Like the kettle, my heart has been learning to wait and to focus on the task at hand. There are lots of things in the balance--work, relationships with friends, dating, and with Jesus. It's so easy to turn my attention and gaze from where it needs to be--especially when impatience knocks on my door. As the kettle was burdened with desiring to boil the water inside, so my heart was burdened this week as well--wanting things to happen more quickly with my career, faith, and relationships. So the tap tap tapping not only took place with my hands, but upon my heart as well.

Do you ever find yourself here? Convicted that you need to be still--that things don't occur in your timing, but that they are always right on time? Trying to stay devoted to the task at hand, but continually drumming your fingers--finding yourself failing in the process?

I do. I did. This week.

But just as the water came to a boil and the kettle let out its yell of excitement, I was reminded of how great things happen at just the right time. I don't need to try and rush the process, but to embrace it as it comes.

And embrace it I will.

Until next week...

Freedom.

She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. -Proverbs 31:25

This morning I woke up and my mind flooded with all that I was unable to fix and all the tasks at hand. As I washed the piled high set of dishes in the sink and brewed my morning coffee, a sweet whisper called out: Come away. Pray, beloved. Pray. Give it to me.

At first, I did everything I could not to pray. I was frustrated. Hurt. And the negative thoughts continued to overwhelm my mind and heart. But then, I cried out.


I called out to the Lord out of my distress and he answered me. (Jonah 2:2)

There is power in authentic prayer. There is power in the name of Jesus. And so, as he has asked me to be devoted to prayer for various people, I will.

I've decided to clothe them in prayer. We are each called to be clothed in Jesus and carry his attributes with us to pour into others' lives.

So, I ask you to also join me in this daily prayer for those that you love:

• Mind: What they think about 
• Eyes: What they look at
• Ears: What they listen to
• Mouth: What they speak
• Neck: Decisions that turn their head
• Shoulders: Their burdens and worries
• Heart: What and who they love
• Back: Protection
• Arms: Strength
• Hands: Work
• Ring finger: Their current or future marriage
• Sexuality: Their need for physical intimacy
• Legs: Their stand on truth
• Knees: Relationship with God
• Feet: Their walk

So, instead of taking things up on my own (which I all too frequently do), I've decided to (once again) surrender and give it to Jesus who is able to carry it all. I choose to obey and to take him at his word. He is so faithful and so very good!

Take this week to pray and believe God!

52 Lists: Week 17

Mr Wendal just came on my Spotify station. I immediately laughed because it took me back to a memory. I love how music does this. It infiltrates my mind and heart and pours into all of the spoken and unspoken places of my life.

And that's what these weekly writings on lists have done for me--helped me reflect and to see how beautiful life is. Each second is a gift (even the difficult ones) and should be lived to the utmost!! This past week carried many attributes and characteristics, but the weekend summed it all up:

Salt water. Laugher. Smiles. Confederate Jasmine. Family.

I was blessed to head to the low country of Charleston, South Carolina to join my family in a weekend of food, drink, and sunshine! With my sunglasses, music, wine, and a hand in mine, the time was seized. There were delicious moments found in the simple and with each taste of food and drink that was consumed!

And all that can be said about this week is that it left me smiling...and not wanting it to end.

Forever mine.

Until next week it's summed up in the Quiet Hounds lyrics below...

Hellen

all the gardenia on the sideway dropping like they want you// i'm  a believer when i'm on the highway when they're playing our tune// driving up slowly through the gravel nothing stopping Sunday// summer love songing in my longing we can do this our way// (quiet hounds "southern charm")

Certainty in the Uncertain

Our natural inclination is to be so precise--trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next--that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing...the nature of the spiritual life is that we are uncertain in our uncertainty...We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been...To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring...We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God...The spiritual life is the life of a child...Jesus said, '...believe also in Me' (John 14:1), not 'Believe certain things about me.' Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in--but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.

-Oswald Chambers

I have a confession to make. 

Over the past couple of weeks, I've leaned on my own understanding. During 1 of the few weeks, I actually heard the voice of the Lord speak and I disobeyed. I actually did exactly what he told me not to do. Now, no one else knows that this was the course that took place, but I know. The Lord had spoken to me about holding back--about waiting. Because you see--he knows the hearts of all his children. He knows the heart of every human being. He knows. 

And when I turned and thought that I knew best and acted against what he spoke (because uncertainty was uncomfortable for me), I sabotaged the relationship. Jesus was trying to protect me. He was giving me wisdom and I gripped onto foolishness. My heart was bruised in the process. Jesus was wanting to save me from this, but like all of us can relate to--I rebelled.

This situation took my heart and mind back to a memory of when I was a child. I had been cooking on the stove with my mom and dad. I'm not sure what we were cooking, but I was excited to be involved--to be included. I was excited to help. Now, when we had finished, my mom turned off the stove. But she instructed me not to touch the burners because they were hot and still cooling. I knew that she was right, but I still wanted to see for myself. So, I touched the burner. I didn't just touch it lightly. I placed my entire hand on top of the stove. Now, you can imagine that I immediately pulled my hand back and that screaming ensued. Tears began to flow and I knew of my rebellion the moment my hand touched the stove. No--strike that. I knew of it as soon as I determined in my heart to go against what my mother had instructed me.

Being the gracious parents that they were, my stepfather came rushing in and immediately ran my hand over cold water. The burn was pretty intense. My parents called my pediatrician and he made a house visit. Looking back, I can see the relentless love that my parents had for me--even in my disobedience. They didn't scold me. They just loved me and sought to bring healing. They demonstrated love in its purest form.

My hand was wrapped in a healing ointment and the gentle touch dried my tears. 

Just as the scars of my disobedience were graciously healed and restored, Jesus has been speaking to me that this is what he desires in relationships. He desires my hurt heart to be healed. He is concerned about it all. And if I will listen and obey, I will see how he is moving. He hasn't called me to bitterness or anger or judgement or distrust or to lean on my own understanding, but he has called me to love. He has called me to healing and to forgiveness. He has called me to trust.

So, I am uncertain of what will happen next. I am uncertain about this relationship--this friendship and if forgiveness is at the end of it. But it is my prayer--my heartbeat that there is healing. Because this is what we were called to. It's what Jesus died for. 

So, my certainty rests in Him. 

May your certainty rest in Jesus alone. May you live a life abandoned to LOVE--quick to forgive, reconcile, and to heal. 

Christ died for the hearts of people and so we must die to our own rights and forgive--because we have been forgiven much!

Learning to Love: Communication

When you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you!

-Billie Holiday

Smiles are contagious. They're infectious. When someone smiles at me, my face lights up and I can't help but spread the joy to others. It's a wonderful way to communicate without words. 

Unfortunately, I oftentimes see more than my fare share of people with a scowl on their face. Frowns reflect a negative emotion and joyous people tend to flee from it. But it communicates just the same. 

Encouragement is another form of communication--building courage.

Discouragement takes away courage. 

Communication can be done through words, actions, or both. You can try to avoid it, but you won't succeed. Because regardless, you are communicating something.

One unhealthy habit that I've come across first-hand from guys who are boys (yet to become men) is that when conflict arises with someone of the opposite sex and the rubber hits the road, they have the tendency to write off the relationship without a word. They stop answering texts, phone calls, and any form of communication. They become paralyzed to expressing what is going on. Because of fear or insecurity, they fail to tackle the situation at hand.

And what happens is this:

They think they are doing women a favor by communicating their lack of interest or concern. They think they are being fair and just by being silent. But instead of coming across as "fair," women understand this communication as this:

Not being worth it. Unwanted. Uncaring.

And unfortunately, many women take this on as their identity or, at the very least--put up their guard until they have a precipice of a wall around themselves. They refuse to become too vulnerable (even in dating relationships and marriages).

All because they believed the lies--a lie that was planted from the action of a boy. A boy that took the way of a coward instead of a man. Men aren't afraid to face the circumstance at hand. They actually embrace them. 

People are more important than our comfort. They are worth it--every single one--even if it's to say goodbye and release them from the relationship. 

Please communicate--with words. It will help clear things up. It will probably be awkward and difficult. It may mean letting go. It may mean staying. Regardless--communicate.

Our society is crying out for it.

Let all that you do be done in love.

52 Lists: Week 16

Renewed. Restoration. Belief. Gap. Reflection.

This week, I had the pleasure of having my life slow down. There was time for a bit of reflection--a thought occurring in a bit of meditation. Each day, I was given an opportunity to slow down. But it was amazing how my mind continued to race. Reflecting and meditating on the truth was a moment by moment task. A renewing of my mind had to take place. For so long, I have struggled with vulnerability. I have allowed women to see me, but rarely men. Each time that I have begun to let down my guard with a man (even in friendships), disaster seemed to follow suit. There is one thing that I've learned throughout my 30-something years:

Relationships are messy. Love is messy. It is uncontrollable. It just is.

But it's worth it. I have to continue to believe this--especially when everything around me wants to tell me differently. I have to carry onto the faith that relationships are worth fighting for--family, friends, romantic, etc. Because people matter. All of them. And sometimes this requires letting go. Loving people is difficult because it can't be controlled. But love carries the attribute of self-control, peace, patience, and understanding. It isn't selfish or rude or arrogant.

In my experience this week, I've discovered that there is a gap. Unless both parties are willing to continue forward and work on loving the other and letting things go, then one or both of them will fall. Because you can't love and hold grudges. Love requires forgiveness. It demands grace. And both individuals have to be invested. Regardless of how deep the relationship, there is a calling to be committed--desiring the other person's well-being more than ones own. Each is called to selflessness.

And in the mess--just like when one is made in the kitchen, things need to be cleaned up. There needs to be restoration. There needs to be wholeness. Because without this, the relationship can't move forward. And so--though the relationship is currently still a mess, my hope is for its restoration and reconciliation. My desire is that the other will choose to love and forgive and to fight for the friendship. But if I've learned anything, it is this:

Love can't control. It doesn't force itself on another. It waits and it just loves.

Challenging week, but looking forward to the days ahead as the lists continue.

Until next week...

Hellen 

Chivalry. Return Please.

The day before yesterday, I was driving to work and heard on the radio how the topic of chivalry was coming up in the circles of conversations among women. Or, should I say, the lack of chivalry? Now, before you men write me off and click to read another article, hear me out.

As much as I hate to admit it, men aren't the only ones who are at fault. As a woman, I can see how my sex has failed as well. There are very few ladies left. Thus, this keeps men from being able to be chivalrous.

But what is chivalry anyway?

It is defined as a combination of qualities including honor, courage, justice, and courteous behavior towards women. It is not the outwardly appearance (though this is important), but the character and nature that a man carries. I've listed a few things that exemplify chivalry. Though these don't characterize all the qualities desired by a woman, they are a start.

Being chivalrous is found in the heart. It is the act of a boy leaving his boyish ways to behave like a man.

• Opening the car or any other door for a woman.
• Allowing a woman to go first in line and before himself (an act of servanthood).
• Pulling out a chair for a woman at a meal before she sits down. And then he helps push her chair towards the table.
• Not sitting down until all the women are seated at the table.
• Stands up when a woman leaves the table.
• When picking up a woman on a date, he goes to the front door to get her. He doesn't honk the horn or text her of his arrival.
• If there is a long walk from the car, drop off those in the car with you and then join them after you've parked the car.
• Allow ladies to order first when you go out to eat.
• When walking on the sidewalk, place yourself on the outside closest to traffic.
• If a woman is cold, offer her your coat or jacket.
• When dropping a date off, walk her to her door.
• If you see a woman carrying something heavy, offer to carry it. If she refuses, be assertive. Take it from her and help. Every woman is appreciative of assistance.
• Call when you say you will.
• Don't make promises you can't keep. Follow through on your word.
• Don't disrespect a woman.
• Protect a woman at all costs.
• Escort a woman at a formal event.
• Compliment her often.
• Don't play games. Be honest with her.

These suggestions are coming from a woman. What you, as a man, might see as something small, has great ramifications. Remember that the small details are noticed (even when you don't think they are). Women are very perceptive. My prayer for women is that we'll be great appreciators and express our gratitude often. 

Bottom line: Men be men. Women, be ladies.

This is what we were created for.

Learning to Love

Learning to love is difficult and overwhelming. And yet--loving should be as natural and easy to us as breathing. This week, I have sensed my heart being pruned and prepared to love in an even more radical way than I ever have before.

Love isn't self-seeking.

Love doesn't force itself on others.

These are two truths that have been pounding on my heart over the course of this past week. Though it's only been a week, my spirit has felt as if a month or more has passed. I oftentimes have to remind myself to be still and to remember that though many things are happening rapidly, there is a step-by-step process in the middle of it all.

I have been privileged to have some beautiful relationships enter into my life this year. But as relationships often are--they are messy. They are overwhelmingly beautiful, but there is mess in the middle of the beauty. Maybe that's what makes them absolutely beautiful!

This week, I messed up. The Lord spoke to me about not contacting an individual and to wait patiently. I didn't. I leaned on my own understanding. Well, it blew up in my face. I am now facing the ramifications of not listening.

Love is selfless.

Love is patient and waits. It steps back when it needs to.

It remains.

And so, this lesson continues for me: Forever learning to love...

52 Lists: Week 15

Abandoned. Bloom. Process. Learning. Confrontation.

This week, I was watching my 2 kiddos that I nanny. As we sat outside and started to bask in the delightful weather and change of season, I noticed a mother swallow and her newly born chicks. They were in a nest tucked in the crevice and shelter of the family's home. The nest was safe and secure and away from harm's way. As I stood in amazement of the creation around me, a revelation came to my heart and it sums up this week:

Don't be afraid to live a life of abandonment. Bloom where you are planted. Relationships are a process. I am forever learning. And there are days of confrontation and delight ahead.

As the mother swallow covers her chicks and displays a love abandoned to them selflessly, so I am called to live a life giving completely and fully to those around me. Meanwhile, like the chicks in the nest, I am called to bloom right where I am. And I am to remember, like the chicks and the mother swallow, that life is a process. I won't always be where I am. I am called to continually evolve. I am learning--discovering and growing. And in the midst of this learning, there is confrontation. There have been conversations this week that I didn't want to have. There have been discussions. There have been discoveries and sometimes poor decisions. I've too often leaned on my own understanding.

But how thankful I am for the unending grace found in Jesus. Just like the mother swallow covers her chicks in her love, so I am covered as well.

Forever learning.

Until next week...

Hellen

52 Lists: Week 14

Transform. Presence. Patience. Communication. Connection.

This week entailed quite a few lessons for me. The one that has resonated in my heart throughout the week is this:

I am a work in progress who can be extremely intense. But I have an intense and passionate God. At the same time, he is patient and gentle as well as strong and persistent. And he has called me to the same character. And a work in progress, I am.

As Spring is upon us, the earth is springing forth newness all around. Trees are in bloom. Rain is coming down. The natural is being transformed. And so it is with my heart. And my mind. And my character. As the weather effects the growth of the earth, so the Presence of Jesus affects my heart, mind, and character.

I need to be aware of his presence in order for my entire being to be transformed.

Oftentimes, I find myself impatient--wanting things to happen more quickly. I desire for relationships with God and people to move rapidly. But this isn't how it works. Relationships are a process. Sometimes, I have seen how I've rapidly grown in my relationship with Jesus and others, but it's always a process. And it requires patience. Love is patient. It waits.

This week, I've tried to push down walls into hearts in my own strength. I've been intense, but not patient. I've tried to do things on my own strength and it's left me exhausted and frustrated.

But how thankful I am for Jesus and for his never-ending presence and patience. He's communicated to me right where I am--asking me to die to myself and to live in him. He has proven himself true by doing above and beyond all I could ask. He has asked me to surrender trying to handle situations on my own.

My heart hears him whispering:

Come. Let me transform you. You were made to live in my Presence. You were created for patience. You were designed to communicate and to teach others about communication with me. I have given you the connection to myself because of who I AM. Lean upon me. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. My ways are continually good. My timing is perfect. Wait upon me. I am making everything beautiful in my time. 

And as I move into week 15 of this journey of "word lists," may I cling to the words of Jesus above all else. He is where I want to remain always. I encourage you to do the same!

Rest in the sweetness of his voice! He is speaking through everything!!

Until next week...

Hellen

52 Lists: Week 13

Week 13.

It went by so quickly. Now, I find myself more than halfway through week 14 and I'm just now catching up on last week. Forgive me.

Transpire. Seasons. Loyalty. Transition. Expose.

The eyes of my heart are continually being opened. Oftentimes, I see things that I want to be transformed, rearranged, and made new. As winter is passing and the spring has come, my heart is also finding itself being refreshed and made whole!

This week, I was given the opportunity to allow specific things in my life to transpire--to be revealed or to take place. It required me to let go of control. To be honest, I failed. And this was a difficult reality for me to face. I don't know about you, but I oftentimes like to have control. I don't want to let things transpire and develop without my hand on them. And yet, I adore surprises and not being in control. Talk about being torn...

This month there is a change in seasons. In the natural. In my heart. In my mind. It's a time of growth and preparedness for this year of fulfillment. My heart is crying out to be opened. My heart longs for the things that are unseen to be seen. My mind hungers to be renewed. And the earth is budding forth a freshness from the ground. It is a time of fulfillment. But this requires a steadiness--a loyal spirit. In order for the earth to bud and spring forth its flowers, the roots of a tree or shrub have to go down deep into the earth. And so it is in the spiritual. Loyalty is the root in relationships, the work field, at home, etc. In order for anything to grow, the roots must first grow down deep--committed to the task at hand. This is the lesson I'm learning.

As my heart and mind and spirit come into alignment with this truth, my life is in transition. New roommate. New house. New jobs. New friendships. NEW! All things are being made new. And this newness demands an exposure of my heart. And that is difficult. Because if I'm honest, my heart is not always beautiful. But the exposure is what brings about the beauty.

So what did this past week entail? Life transpired and revealed to me a new season where loyalty and exposure were required during this time of transition.

I'm left again speechless, but thankful that I'm taken as a "work in progress"--weak, but forever willing. Here's to week 14! May your heart overflow and be continually authentic in all that you say and do!

All my love...
Hellen

52 Lists: Week 12

This week, I concluded was a giant lesson of monstrous proportions. It felt like one of those lessons like when I learned to cook. It required trust, patience, and a peace that passes all understanding. It all occurred as I began to reconstruct the kitchen in my house. From the get-go, the kitchen has been my least favorite room in the home. That being said, I was prepared and ready to make it adorable. And then it happened: water began to leak on my kitchen floor. Then the stove broke. Then the seal on the refrigerator was out. Then the washer decided to break. My hands went up and all I could do was laugh.

A dear friend and father in the Lord once spoke to me:

Home is where we have to live out what's in our hearts. Ministry begins at home.

I've always believed this, but truly began to see in the natural what was happening in the spiritual. There was change all around me. Some of it I could control, but most of it I couldn't control. All of this caused me to take a look back and to seek what was truly happening in my heart. I came to this conclusion: I had difficulty trusting. I had difficulty letting go and believing that God's timing was perfect.

Patience. Routine. Unexpected. Depth. Fulfillment.

These are the words for this week. Every situation required patience to the deepest core. It required my heart to take a step back from the routine--habitual occurrences. And in the moment that I stepped back, the unexpected happened. Help came through for my broken appliances. My kitchen began to evolve. Conversations happened. And peace came. A depth of peace that I had never known. My eyes were opened to how when I let go, fulfillment would occur. 

And it did. So, this week and as I move forward into week 13, I choose to let it go. 

52 Lists: Week 11

Inhabit. Built. Satisfy. Committed. Blessing.

Each moment is a gift. Each second (especially in the mundane) is an honor. Our lives are fragile and to wake each morning and to be breathing and taking in life is such a treasure. My heart has been realizing this day after day.

This week was the beginning of a season of transition in my life. I packed all of my belongings up and moved across town into a new home. I said goodbye to apartment living and hello to a house with a backyard. I inhabited a new area. Not only is this my physical address, but it's where my heart and soul dwell. As I unpacked all of my things and began to set up home with my new housemate in a new home, I began to build--in the physical and spiritual. In the natural, I went to work on a pallet kitchen table, an outdoor bench, and wall hangings. I also travailed spiritually--praying over each room and preparing the space for the Holy Spirit to feel at home.

Choose today whom you will serve...But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. 

-Joshua 24:15

As things began to transition with my new home, so they have been transitioning in my heart. I'm realizing again and again that it is only the Lord who will satisfy. Only he will fulfill every crevice in my heart. Nothing in this world comes close to the fullness that I find in Jesus. And so, I have decided time and time again that my roots are planted deep. My heart and mind are secure. I am committed. I'm all in--with relationships, with this home, with ministry, but above all with Jesus.

He has blessed me in every sense of the word and I am stirred to praise him. He places his hand upon me and blesses me--teaching me in this season how to receive, how to be pursued, how to see him in the biggest of pictures and the smallest of details. 

This week marks a season of newness in my heart and mind. My prayer is that you will allow Jesus to inhabit and build his truth in your heart and mind. I pray that he alone satisfies you like no other and that you, in turn, are committed to him alone--seeing the wonderful blessing of his fellowship.

Until next week...

Love Opens Us.

Love opens us up.

Love digs deep.

It never gives up.

Love is vulnerable.

It is honest.

It doesn't push itself on others.

Love just loves.


These phrases have been on repeat in my heart and mind over the past couple of days. Usually, this guarantees a message and truth that Jesus wants me to get deep in my heart and mind. So, I thought I'd share these thoughts with you as well.

I know. Another blog entry about love...

You've been there. Done that. Heard it a million times.

But if we really understood every facet of love and what it means for love to seep out of our every crevice into the hearts of others, then the world's problems would be solved. But we don't understand it. We are constantly learning how to love.

We are, by nature, a wreck. We are selfish and our thoughts are usually on ourselves. Even if you're a Christian and you've asked Jesus to be your all-in-all, it's a process. He's forever smashing through your heart and mind--desiring to have FULL reign over all of you--desiring for  you to radically LOVE!

This is what we were created for! But it takes courage. It takes courage to let go--to open up and to stay there--letting the light of TRUTH invade our hearts and minds. For me, it isn't difficult to allow Jesus to see these places, but to get vulnerable with another--ouch! I'm a work in progress and am thankful for those who have portrayed in the flesh that Love is patient. It doesn't give up.

In a world that is forever uncommitted, my heart is EXPLODING to live out a life abandoned to LOVE! I desire to be open. To be committed. To be vulnerable. To be honest--not pushing myself on others, but patient. I long to love as Christ loves. It's a challenge and will continue to be, but there is FREEDOM in this beautiful LOVE!

Jesus continued to reveal this to me this morning as I prayed for my future husband and family. I believe that it is a key for others to access and receive from as well. May your heart be blessed beyond your comprehension--knowing that he who has called you to love will guide you and help you through the process.

Jesus + you + me = making history.

Keep pursuing LOVE. Keep asking Jesus to teach you how to LOVE those around you and how to LOVE Him! If you know him, he is continually GIVING you his heart to pour back onto to himself and to others. Lean in with me, friend! Let's live a life of LOVE!