52 Lists: Week 9

discipline.
liberty.
undiminished.
expose.
patience.

What a week! And I'm behind. The words above summarize last week--one of unexpected delights and frustrations. But all the while, I have been coming eye-to-eye with discipline--training, adversity to improve behavior. I've been tested on what love is and living it out in my own life as I never have before.

Like a marathon, it hasn't been a picturesque or beautiful sight. Many times through this week, my heart has been exposed and released of the toxins it has contained: selfishness, abrasiveness, and criticalness. The mud has been in my eyes. My breath has been short, but I continue to run forward. I've wanted to give up. I've wanted to throw in the towel. But love doesn't do that. Love is patient. Love is long-suffering. Love just loves. 

So, my heart is called to be an anchor: steady, even-tempered, quiet, certain. As a child who is told to sit still for the first time, so my heart has been whirling around--desiring to get up, move, and push out all of those who consistently fail in my expectations of them. But love doesn't do that. And I am called to this higher place--patience.

Love doesn't diminish. It's undiminished. It lifts up and calls others to come up to higher places. It encourages and builds up. Like a hot air balloon blows hot air into its vessel--causing it to go higher and higher, love does the same. It blows upon the hearts of others and gives them the liberty to keep reaching upward--to elevate itself vertically. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs or love when it's convenient or when the love is reciprocated. Love just loves.

And so--though I am deeply flawed, I am called to do the same. It's not convenient. It rarely is. It's not easy. I've found it can oftentimes be challenging and difficult. But I'm called to love just the same...

..Especially when everything around screams for me to stop...

Determined to love fully. Completely. Wholeheartedly. Unreservedly. Exploding into the depths of my very being.

Learning to Love Outside the Lines,

Hellen

52 Lists: Week 8

Week 8. New beginnings.

To say that there have been new beginnings this week is an understatement: New job opportunities. New house. New friendships/relationships.

Let's just say that there are new things on the horizon in my life. And to say that I'm excited or elated or filled with overwhelming anticipation for its fulfillment, is an understatement!

Pursue. Attracted. Held. Awaken. Receive.

This week, I realized that it is often in the times where I think that nothing is going to budge, that a door comes flying open. I was uncertain this week as to when things were going to start shifting and moving in areas of promise over my life. And though this week was just another crack in the door, it was a crack just the same.

I fashioned up this revelation: Keep my heart open. Go with the flow. Allow myself to be sought after, chased after--in turn, pursued. In this world, there is an underlying word that is spoken to women: Be strong. Be so strong that you don't appear to need anyone. Because you don't. The truth is this: As a woman, we are called to be strong, but not on our own. We were created to be comforted, sought after, and ultimately pursued. And this begins in our childhood. Women thrive on relationship and intentionality.

So in this pursuit of developing relationships, I noticed the beauty of being captivated. I realized that in each conversation, the moment was intentional and there was a mutual fascination. It's truly a beautiful thing--seeing someone for the first time. And as a Christian, what a gift it is to see another as Jesus sees. It's a gift! And through this blossoming of my heart, I noticed that through it all, I am held.

I am wrapped in the arms of the one who is love. Through all of these moments, my heart is kept safe. I am held by the One who cares for it. This therefore frees me up to be open and to allow myself to be awakened.

Love has stirred me again and has rallied my heart. I am on the precipice of fulfillment and my heart is alive and awake. This then, in turn, has opened me up to receive--to accept, obtain, and to hold.

This is me. This is where I am. Ready. Secure. On the lookout. Hands open. Heart open.

Ready to receive...

...what's already been promised.

Forever hopeful.

May your heart be blessed with the same assurance this week!

Forever grateful,

Hellen